I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Quick, to the slutcave!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Randomize
