marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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