Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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