we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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