just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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