Are we in a gay sports bar?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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