Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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