I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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