beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
