Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize