Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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