What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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