i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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