Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?

(604): View more from British Columbia

unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head

(770): View more from Georgia

Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...

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(360): View more from Washington

The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt

(206): View more from Washington

You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.

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