he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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