Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
