yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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