the condom got lost in my hair
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
