I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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