Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
