You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
