Do vagina's smell?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
