Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just forgot I was standing up.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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