Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
