According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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