hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
