That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize