i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
