Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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