She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize