just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
