You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
