Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
