i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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