so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
