Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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