The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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