Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
