i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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