i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
