Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
