O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize