I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
