idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize