please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
