Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
