using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
