wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
