My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
