I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize