i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
