he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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