I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
