I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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