I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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