mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
