I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
