Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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