Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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