Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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