what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
