shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
