Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
