do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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