if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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