would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
