I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
