Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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