I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
