he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This is my gift to your gina
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
