Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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