I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
birth control should be required to get into college
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
