There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nobody cheats on THIS.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize