If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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