I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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