I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
