Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
