How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
