i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
