If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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